It's been a little while since I've posted but it's been a bit hectic. Work has been pandemonium with not a spare minute. Although I don't post at work it has a knock on effect and results in me being too tired at night to spend time blogging.
Anyway enough about that. Have had quite a good week so far, it's been very quick which means it's nearly time for the long weekend! Have 3 days off this weekend. Bliss. I heart bank holidays.
Wednesday 30 April 2008
Tuesday 22 April 2008
yawn
I'm so tired all the time lately. I come home from work just after 7pm, have my dinner and then want to go to bed as soon as possible. The house is a disaster - the dishes are still there from last night's dinner! I just don't have the energy to do anything... Luckily OH walked the dog earlier - it took me so long to get home that, surprise surprise, I was too tired to take him out.
OH is out at a friends house so think I'll just head to bed shortly with a book.
OH is out at a friends house so think I'll just head to bed shortly with a book.
Monday 21 April 2008
mmm, i'm not sure
I have a dilemma of ginormous proportions.
I don't know what to do.
Woe, is me.
Should it be...
New shoes OR new jeans...??
I can't have both. Well I could, but it's easier to get away with "what? these old things??" on one thing at a time. And preferably with a couple of months in between.
I don't know what to do.
Woe, is me.
Should it be...
New shoes OR new jeans...??
I can't have both. Well I could, but it's easier to get away with "what? these old things??" on one thing at a time. And preferably with a couple of months in between.
tick tock
OH and I had a brief chat a few days ago which has left me a-wondering. We have been having a few financial problems that has resulted in us having to put off our wedding plans and the likes. To cut a long story short,whilst I was at university, we spent on credit without thinking of the consequences and, as a result, we are paying for it now. Probably ten-fold. Anyhoo, we've taken hold of the situation and are managing, barely.
Back to the original topic, OH told me the other day he had a 3 and 5 year plan for us. Eh? He's a dark horse that one. He told me that at the end of the 5 years we would have paid off everything we owe and then we can get married and, wait for it, have a baby. Holy moly. A b-b-baby?? I've always said that I wanted children however I'd always thought that it was years away and I had ages to think about and plan it. Now I'm 26 and he's 39 - neither of us are getting any younger.
Recently I have been thinking more seriously about having kids and I find myself starting to long for it. I'm not at the desperado stage yet however having him mention it and realising he's actually wanting to consider it has made me realise that, yes, I do want to be someone's mummy. Bizarre.
The weird thing is until about 6 months ago I still felt like a teenager and no way felt old enough to be a parent. Now my feelings are changing, I feel closer to being ready. Also, my new job is the first job where I've had the security to be able to even think about getting pregnant and going on maternity leave.
I know we're still talking about 5 years away however that gives us time to sort out our finances and for me to build a career for myself in the meantime.
I feel like I'm finally growing up...I like it! I am starting to feel more content. I never really had focus before whether it be in my job, with money or anything else important. But now I feel like I'm more in control and it makes a helluva difference to your whole outlook on life.
Back to the original topic, OH told me the other day he had a 3 and 5 year plan for us. Eh? He's a dark horse that one. He told me that at the end of the 5 years we would have paid off everything we owe and then we can get married and, wait for it, have a baby. Holy moly. A b-b-baby?? I've always said that I wanted children however I'd always thought that it was years away and I had ages to think about and plan it. Now I'm 26 and he's 39 - neither of us are getting any younger.
Recently I have been thinking more seriously about having kids and I find myself starting to long for it. I'm not at the desperado stage yet however having him mention it and realising he's actually wanting to consider it has made me realise that, yes, I do want to be someone's mummy. Bizarre.
The weird thing is until about 6 months ago I still felt like a teenager and no way felt old enough to be a parent. Now my feelings are changing, I feel closer to being ready. Also, my new job is the first job where I've had the security to be able to even think about getting pregnant and going on maternity leave.
I know we're still talking about 5 years away however that gives us time to sort out our finances and for me to build a career for myself in the meantime.
I feel like I'm finally growing up...I like it! I am starting to feel more content. I never really had focus before whether it be in my job, with money or anything else important. But now I feel like I'm more in control and it makes a helluva difference to your whole outlook on life.
Sunday 20 April 2008
only the lonely
OH was working a late shift last night and tonight and I'm getting bored with just the dog to talk to. I've phoned various people for a chat throughout different stages of the day but nothing compares to having someone to cuddle up to on the couch. Don't get me wrong I could've gone out with friends today but I'm not really in the mood for idle chit chat. A short conversation on the phone has been enough to keep me in contact with the outside world without me having to strain myself! Sometimes I feel it's a struggle with some of my friends to keep the conversation flowing and I just can't be bothered like I used to. I'm my own worst enemy at times. I get lonely on my own after a long period by myself but I hardly make the effort with my friends anymore.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't be bothered. It does feel a bit like depression again but I only feel like this when I'm on my own for a while. Lately I've been so busy that I haven't had time to feel down or lonely. I have noticedin general that I have been smiling and laughing more; this has also been noticed by OH which he's pleased about. He has put up with so much over the past 8 years. As much as I moan about him and sometimes contemplate whether the grass is greener he has been my rock and is proud of me, always wants what's best for me and puts up with my strops! We've had our problems and prob will have some more but I'm starting to feel more hopeful about our future together.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't be bothered. It does feel a bit like depression again but I only feel like this when I'm on my own for a while. Lately I've been so busy that I haven't had time to feel down or lonely. I have noticedin general that I have been smiling and laughing more; this has also been noticed by OH which he's pleased about. He has put up with so much over the past 8 years. As much as I moan about him and sometimes contemplate whether the grass is greener he has been my rock and is proud of me, always wants what's best for me and puts up with my strops! We've had our problems and prob will have some more but I'm starting to feel more hopeful about our future together.
sun, sea and sand
I'm lucky enough to live 10 mins from the beach. As I don't know what a long lie is I was up at my usual weekend time of 8am this morning; out with the dog twenty minutes later. We started off at the park (10 secs walk from my front door) and then I decided to head down to the beach since it was such a nice morning. It was lovely. I like this time of year when the weather starts getting better and yet it's still quiet with mainly only dog walkers out and about. Bliss.
Saturday 19 April 2008
smoke free
I was reading a blog this morning that I frequent and today's post referred to smoking. It is 11 weeks today since I stopped. Yipee! I'm very proud of myself. I smoked 20 a day and have tried umpteen times to stop with various "aids". Patches, inhalator, gum, tabs (yeuch!). Probably something else that I can't think of.
My stopping smoking came about because a friend of mine had told me that she'd stopped smoking by taking tablets (Champix). She said that she wasn't that bothered about stopping but tried them anyway and she hasn't smoked since and that was 4 months ago. It sounded like a miracle! I didn't really want to stop but I couldn't afford (monetary terms only) to keep smoking. So off I popped to the doctor's who told me I couldn't get the tablets because I'd been prescribed anti-depressants in the past. Smashing. Something to do with people topping themselves or something when taking these pills. AND they'd had a sound mind before taking them. So seemingly the doctor didn't wanna play russian roulette with my life. Pah.
This resulted in me deciding to pack it in on willpower alone and it worked! Go me!
My stopping smoking came about because a friend of mine had told me that she'd stopped smoking by taking tablets (Champix). She said that she wasn't that bothered about stopping but tried them anyway and she hasn't smoked since and that was 4 months ago. It sounded like a miracle! I didn't really want to stop but I couldn't afford (monetary terms only) to keep smoking. So off I popped to the doctor's who told me I couldn't get the tablets because I'd been prescribed anti-depressants in the past. Smashing. Something to do with people topping themselves or something when taking these pills. AND they'd had a sound mind before taking them. So seemingly the doctor didn't wanna play russian roulette with my life. Pah.
This resulted in me deciding to pack it in on willpower alone and it worked! Go me!
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