wonderings

I've just been having a look on the web at some proverbs and came across this one: "It's better to be alone than in bad company". As proverbs go it is pretty standard and straight-forward. Yea it makes sense however is it practical? Is it really better to be alone than in bad company? All the time? In every instance? Don't get me wrong, most of the time I would rather be on my own than with people who are emotionally draining. But sometimes you just need to be with people no matter what negativity they bring to the meeting. I suppose the moral of the story is that you should only surround yourself with people who have a positive influence in your life. Huh. Flashbulb moment. That's what it's getting at.

I guess I'm mulling these thoughts over because at this point in my life I'm reassessing my relationships with friends. I continuously feel as though I'm migrating away from them and it's a little scary. I feel as though we have nothing in common anymore. Although, in retrospect, all we had in common was drinking and partying. We are a group of different ages, different sexes and and, well, differences. Normally, with the odd lapse, we'd go about our normal life during the week then meet up at weekends for a good p***-up. But I'm bored with that. I want more from life. I'm sick of being ill with a hangover all during the day at weekends and getting nothing productive done. I have enjoyed it but it's past tense. They are all still doing it and enjoying it but I just don't want to anymore. The problem is that as I pull myself away I’m finding that I’m becoming more and more isolated. They have been my friends for so long, and took up my spare time, that I don’t have any other ones. Not that that’s a reason to stay doing the same thing weekend in weekend out. I don’t know anymore.

The scary thing is my fiancé is still part of this group and he knows how I feel about getting drunk every weekend and that I don’t want to do it. However, he does. Therefore the drinking and partying wins. This has been brought up on many occasions over the years i.e. that he would rather be in the pub than spend time with me. I feel as though time is running out for us. I love him but how can we be together if we don’t have the same goals? He wants to go out partying in all his spare time and I don’t. We don’t spend any quality time together. We spoke about this briefly during the week when I started to tentatively voice my concerns. He said don’t, he’s been through this before. You see, his girlfriend of 13 years left him 8 years ago because her life was moving in a different direction and she no longer wanted to do the partying scene anymore and wanted to settle down. And he feels that it’s happening again with me. And I think he’s maybe right. But it angers me to think he’s willing to let the same thing happen again. I’m not expecting him to have a pipe in front of the fire with his slippers on every night but I think things need to be re-evaluated. The guy he sees most night he’s free is single and lives with another guy in a flat. My fiancé isn’t single and therefore can’t live the single life. I’m not saying he’s cheating or anything like that he just likes to go out and have a good drink any chance he can and if I’m not up for it then that’s just tough on me. Or at least, that’s what it seems like.

Back to the posts original topic - proverbs. One proverb I can't fathom is "a miss is as good as a mile". Nope. Don't. Get. It.