so so

My day has kinda levelled out to a feeling of numbness. I haven't felt any worse today or much better. I took the dog out again which was good because the sun came out and I laughed out loud with the other park-goers and their dogs. Right now my dog is sleeping on the back of the couch, twitching as he tries to catch up with his doggy pals in his dreamland.

Well that's the weekend all but over. Back to work tomorrow. I have a sinking feeling about it but I'm not sure if this is because I don't want to go specifically to my work to do my job, or that I just want to be able to do what I want when I want for another couple of days. I hope I don't feel like this for the rest of my working life: hating Sundays dreading Mondays.

Just had the OH on the phone from his work for the 6th time today. He thought I sounded down and asked what was wrong. I said I was fed up. He asked if it was anything to do with him. I grunted non-commitedly. Then he had to go.

This is the way it usually goes between us. We touch slighty on the fact there may be a problem. Sometimes, shock horror, we even discuss it. Then we shout, I cry and we promise, then it goes back to normal until the next time. But now there's a new problem. I can't be bothered discussing it. I don't have the energy to dance around each other throwing the same accusations, the same apologies, the same promises. All for the same outcome. Lately I've been imagining us living apart. It hurts. Does this mean it's wrong?